Sex Help for Smart People
It's normal for intimacy to feel hard. It's also possible for it to feel easier and stress-free. Walk away from this podcast with more confidence and ease in your own intimate life. Dual-certified Master intimacy coach, and former professor, Dr. Laura Jurgens presents research-based information in a fun, engaging, de-shaming, and practical way. She helps you understand why feeling blocked or underconfident sexually is not your fault. It's all down to socialized shame and sexual repression. She also introduces play-based approaches to liberating yourself. If you want to discover an effective, fun path to better sex and connection, this show is for you. No ads, no product placements. Just free help.
Disclosure: expect explicit content and a fair bit of swearing!
Episodes
83 episodes
Should I Tell My Partner What Turns Me OFF?
We're going to get really nitty-gritty here today and give you the full details on why, when and how to tell your partner what turns you off. I'll also give you the important exceptions -- that is, when NOT to frame something as a turn-off. Plu...
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Episode 83
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29:05
Can You Really Learn Relationship Skills Through Pleasure? The Science Says Yes
What if getting better at relationships and intimacy could actually feel amazing? In this episode, we look at the evidence to challenge the assumption that learning relationship skills has to involve painful, difficult conversations or years of...
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Episode 82
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26:23
How & Why Your Non-verbal Communication Matters
Today's episode is all about non-verbal communication, it's role with authenticity and trust, and why it matters so much in romantic and sexual relationships (and all relationships, for that matter). Here's the link for the Hawaii r...
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Episode 81
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27:05
Why Do I Have Low Desire? 10 Questions to Figure It Out
Even though nearly everyone will go through periods of low sexual desire in their lifetime, most people have no idea how common it is or that it's solve-able. Sadly, a lot of people feel like there is something wrong with them, or like they are...
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Episode 80
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18:39
How To Stop Avoiding Your Own Desires & Figure Out What You Really Want
Are you secretly scared of your own desires? I see this all the time in my practice – we avoid knowing what we truly want because we're terrified of disappointment. But here's the thing: your desires are there whether you acknowledge them or no...
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Episode 79
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19:10
When Touch Feels Off: Why It Happens & How to Fix It
Have you ever been with someone you love, but their touch just felt... wrong? Or maybe your partner has told you that YOUR touch feels off, and you have no idea what you're doing wrong?I'm diving deep into this incredibly common issue th...
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Episode 78
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23:44
Spontaneous vs. Scheduled Sex: How Do We Find The (Right) Time?
It can be hard for couples to find good times to connect sexually. Busy lives or different sleep schedules are just some contributing factors that make finding time for sex especially challenging. Add to that an expectation that sex is "suppose...
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Episode 77
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13:25
Are We Just Too Sexually Incompatible? How to Know.
If you're asking yourself whether you and your partner are just too sexually incompatible for your relationship to work, this episode is for you. (Tip: It's also for people you know who seem to be asking themselves this all the time. Please sha...
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25:05
What Really Turns Me On? With Danielle Harel, PhD
Don't miss this important (and fun) conversation with Danielle Harel, PhD, co-founder of the Somatica Institute. We talk all about discovering your deep turn-ons, how to know and ask for what you like, and why everyone's arousal pathway is diff...
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Episode 75
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44:37
How Do I Stop Faking Orgasms?
Join me today as I walk through what's really underneath the tendency and temptation to fake orgasms, and how to stop. You'll learn the hidden costs of this habit to you and your relationship. You'll learn what it is actually all about and how ...
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Episode 74
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17:24
Helping Men Last Longer with Caitlin V
Premature ejaculation or "PE" is one of the most widespread challenges for men and couples that include men. There's no special pill being sold on TV. And while it's not quite that easy to find good help -- we got you! There ARE solutions...
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Episode 73
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34:38
The Connection Between Self-Compassion & Great Intimacy (Plus How To Boost Yours)
It may be surprising, but how we treat ourselves is irrevocably linked to how happy we are in our connections with others. Tune in to this heartfelt episode for shortcuts on how to have a better relationship with yourself, first and foremost. Y...
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Episode 72
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18:42
Pitfalls of "Polarity:" 5 Rules to Avoid Harming Your Sex Life
Applying the idea of "polarity" without full knowledge can actually undermine you and harm your sexual connection. So it's best to be informed. Some people act like the idea of "polarity" applied to relationships is some sort of universal truth...
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Episode 71
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25:53
Kind Boundaries & Building Secure Attachment: A Guide
This episode will walk you through how to have boundaries that feel great. Good boundaries feel like a big hug for you, rather than a barbed-wire fence to control others. We'll also cover why kind boundaries are critical to creating secure ...
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Episode 70
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25:50
Giving and Receiving Oral & Troubleshooting (Plus: Why People Often Dislike 69)
Today we're talking about common challenges & solutions for giving and receiving oral sex. Plus, since this is episode 69, I'm celebrating with some cautionary tales around 69, and I'll cover why so many people just don't like it (plus what...
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Episode 69
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19:27
Claim Your Agency or Create Helplessness: You Choose
If you're feeling like change is impossible, you may be falling into a sneaky self-undermining habit. Instead of imagining your worst beliefs are true, take a listen to this empowering episode.
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Episode 68
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15:50
Is It So Bad To Be A Tease? Redefining & Reclaiming Play
Ever wish you had more make out sessions with your partner(s)? Ever wish you felt 100% allowed to just flirt or kiss and then . . . stop? Do you ever wish you could get physical affection without feeling like you're on t...
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Episode 67
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21:23
Monogamy, Non-Monogamy & Choosing Your Relationship Structure on Purpose
Both monogamy and non-monogamy are valid choices, but a lot of people default into the modern-day societal norm without even fully discussing it or considering the options that best align with us. This episode provides an introduction to ...
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Episode 66
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26:42
Big Picture Know-How For Great Sex & Relationships
This episode gives you the bird's-eye view of what we all need to know and understand in order to have our best sex life and best relationships. You might want a pencil and paper for this one!
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Episode 65
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26:37
Hidden Intimacy Challenges for Over-Achievers & What to Do About Them
I'm breaking down the special challenges that over-achievers tend to have with intimacy, sex, and relationships today. I'm also going to tell you exactly how to overcome those challenges. If you're a person who's afraid of failing in relationsh...
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Episode 64
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26:01
Want Better Sex & Relationships? Practice This.
A lot of people want great relationships and sex lives. Not a lot of people are doing anything useful to get there. Today's episode will walk you through a super common trap most people are stuck in -- and show you how to get out of it. I will ...
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Episode 63
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26:16
Which Comes First for You: Physical or Emotional Connection?
People have different ways of getting to connection. Some people find emotional connection necessary before they feel safe to connect physically. Some people want physical intimacy in order to access emotional connection. If you are different t...
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Episode 62
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13:34
Saying No Without Guilt in Relationships & Sex...and everywhere else too
Saying yes to things you don't want to do is not helping your relationships. It's not being "nice" either. Today's episode will help free you from guilt that keeps you from showing up authentically and saying no when you want to. Le...
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Episode 61
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17:28
Kissing: Challenges, Explorations & Tips
This episode dives into all things Kissing. We'll cover basic Do's and Don'ts, and unpack common concerns about this very common activity. Many couples communicate pretty poorly if at all about their desires and preferences around kissing, whic...
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Episode 60
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20:26
Christina & Brooke Share Wisdom from the Middle of the Change Process
Sometimes at the end of the journey it can be hard to even remember what it was like to be in the middle. Listen in to my interview with a wonderful couple of humans, Christina and Brooke, who are currently working with me. They openly share ho...
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Episode 59
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36:56