Sex Help for Smart People
We all need help with intimacy. Join certified somatic intimacy coach, and former academic scientist, Dr. Laura Jurgens for this myth-busting, de-shaming, inclusive show. She helps you understand socialized shame and sexual repression, distills the latest research, and introduces play-based approaches to growing your capacity for intimacy. Every episode offers an experiential exercise to build skill and confidence. If you want to discover an effective, fun path to better sex and connection, this show is for you. No ads, no product placements. Just free help.
Disclosure: expect explicit content and some swearing!
Episodes
35 episodes
Your Options for Help: Coaching vs. Therapy, Plus Pros & Cons of Each
This episode covers when to see a therapist and when to seek out coaching, strengths and weaknesses of both (because all modalities have pros and cons), and what to watch out for. I'll also go over different types of therapy and different types...
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Season 1
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Episode 35
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37:06
What we did in sessions this week
Ever want to know what actually happens in coaching sessions? This episode is story time. I’m going to give you a peek inside my office at what we did in several different sessions this week. Through these little stories, you will get a flavor ...
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Season 1
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Episode 34
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14:45
Why don't they just know?
What can you do when you really want your partner to know what you want and they just don’t. You keep waiting and they keep not knowing and not doing it. You are disappointed, frustrated, or heartbroken (or all three). This is a recipe for disa...
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Season 1
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Episode 33
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22:12
Break Free From Arbitrary Rules: Cleaning Out Your Should Closet
This week we're diving into how "shoulds" sneak in and mess up our confidence, relationships, dating, and sex lives. Shoulds come from all kinds of places (society, religion, your grandma, that 2nd grade math teacher who said you had messy hand...
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Season 1
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Episode 32
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12:31
Skip The Frustration By Understanding Attachment Styles
Everyone has an attachment style. Knowing yours will enable you to manage relationships effectively as an adult, not just react at people. You'll feel much more able to communicate your needs, and much more in the driver's seat of your own expe...
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24:23
Inside a Session on Emotional Desires: Asking For What You Want Without Shame or Blame
In this special episode, I let you listen-in on a live session with client Kris (with her permission!). She and I tackle the topic of owning our own emotional desires when we’re in relationship. Think of our emotional desires just like sexual o...
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Season 1
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Episode 30
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47:25
Better Sleep, Better Sex
Sleeping poorly really impacts your sex life. In today's episode we're going to look at this head-on. This is a super practical episode meant to offer concrete help. I'll share effective ways to sleep better, and what is reasonable...
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Season 1
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Episode 29
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19:22
What Am I A "Yes" To (Even If I'm A "No" To Sex)?
It is super hard when you feel stuck in the Big No. You feel like you always have to say no to your partner. You may wish you wanted sex, but the truth is that you don't. There are loads of good reasons for that (see episodes 3 and 4 for many o...
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Season 1
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Episode 28
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11:48
How to Feel Better About Getting Rejected
Today is all about how to build rejection resilience. How do you deal with rejection by default? How do you feel? How do you actually want to feel? We're going to dive into how to feel better when we don’t get what we want from...
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Season 1
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Episode 27
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40:04
An Introduction to Sexological Bodywork: Interview with Rahi Chun
When you're struggling with your sexuality, it's important to understand the landscape of help and healing options available. Sexological bodyworkers are one type of sex professional that many people don't know about. They are particularly help...
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Season 1
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Episode 26
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30:08
What Strings Are You Attaching To Sex?
This episode will walk you through the 5 main types of emotional strings we attach to sex that can really tank a couple’s fun together. I'll explain why this can be a hidden, but very common, reason for sexual avoidance. Then I’ll help you inve...
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Season 1
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Episode 25
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23:42
Flirting 101: Keys to Juicy Flirting for New & Long-Term Connections
Whether you’re partnered or not, flirting is such an important skill and one that most people don’t spend nearly enough time learning to do well. I sure didn't, but I was so excited to learn about how to flirt well. This episo...
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Season 1
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Episode 24
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28:48
You're Not Dysfunctional and Why Comparing Yourself To Others Isn’t Helping You
Most of us don’t talk openly and honestly about our relationship and sexual challenges. So it’s no wonder that we look around us at everyone else and assume they are having great sex and easy relationships. Today we're talking about how that mi...
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Season 1
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Episode 23
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19:56
When Reality is a Bummer: Dealing with Disappointment
Are you feeling disappointed about anything in your relationship or sex life?Disappointment in relationships and sex is super normal. Some disappointment is because the situation is really not working for us and we need to take some sort...
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Season 1
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Episode 22
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24:02
Relationship Skills Part 2: Attuning to Your Partner
Attuning well to your partner feels great for both of you. It enables emotional intimacy, which makes sexy time way better and much more likely to happen. It's also key for the special kind of non-verbal communication required in physical intim...
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Season 1
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Episode 21
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24:40
Exploring BDSM: Interview with Femme Domme Coach Rose
This episode is a must for anyone diving into or interested in dipping a toe into the world of BDSM. We cover everything from basic definitions: what is BDSM? How is it different from kink? What are the differences among Dom(mme)/Sub play, Sado...
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Season 1
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Episode 20
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45:23
Initiating Sex: Key Troubleshooting Questions for Couples
This episode helps couples troubleshoot problems around initiating sexy time. In it, I guide you through how to talk over two of the most important topics for you and your partner to cover:1) How are we dividing up initiation and do we ...
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Season 1
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Episode 19
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20:01
Inner Critics Gone Wild: Boost Your Mojo & Improve Your Connections By Being Nicer to Yourself
If you regularly feel ashamed, defensive, less worthy than others, or underconfident -- that's your inner critic at work. You may not realize that an inner critic gone wild isn't just harming you, it's harming your relationships and se...
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Season 1
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Episode 18
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27:15
Arousal Styles: Which of These 3 is Yours?
This episode covers the 3 main arousal styles. Only one is commonly depicted in media, but all are very normal and very common in reality. Most people have one dominant and possibly a secondary. Knowing your arousal style is part of discovering...
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Season 1
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Episode 17
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22:30
How to Support a Partner with Sexual Trauma
It can be hard to know what to do when you're partnered with someone who is starting to heal from sexual trauma. They may be pulling away sexually. You may be feeling rejected, resentful, and/or disappointed. You may want to support them, but n...
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Season 1
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Episode 16
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19:04
Recovering from Trauma: My Process
This is a special one. It's both vulnerable and also really satisfying. I’m sharing my story of the 8 key processes that helped me heal from dissociation and PTSD that I accrued from various traumas, including sexual assault, child abuse, homel...
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Season 1
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Episode 15
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48:21
8 Core Principles of Consent & Why They Will Make You Super Sexy
Learn the 8 core principles of consent, why consent competence makes us all sexier and more respectful lovers and human beings, how to share and model consent principles with kids, and some advanced issues around consent for those interested in...
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Season 1
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Episode 14
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24:46
Orgasm Challenges with Partners: Early or Never, the Male Edition
If you're a person with a penis or partnered with someone with one, this episode will help you understand and solve some very common orgasm challenges for male-bodied people during partner sex: having orgasms sooner than you'd like ("premature ...
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Season 1
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Episode 13
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29:29
More Orgasms with Partners: Vulva Edition
So you want to have more orgasms during partner sex? Awesome! This is a common goal for female-bodied people and I am 100% here for that. Women have much lower rates of orgasm during partner sex with men than their male-bodied part...
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Season 1
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Episode 12
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27:02
Becoming Shameless: The Power of De-Shaming for a Happier You and a Better World
How would it feel to feel free from shame? Take a moment to imagine it. If you’d like to get closer to that, join me for Episode 11: Becoming Shameless. Everyone has shame and inhibitions we picked up from our culture ...
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Season 1
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Episode 11
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38:35